First thing’s first….
The Lyrics
Tonight I’ll have some fun, grow some skin
Only for a little bit, cause I cannot handle it
And then later, I’ll run home
And melt back into unrecognizable
Cause I’m a tortured soul
A grief stricken
Heartbroken
Grave-diggin’
Isolated woman
Can’t hide it anymore
So she locks every door
I wanna rip up my face
Rip my heart apart
And make you wipe the blood away
Just to hear you say “I loved you everyday”
I wanna smoke my lungs out
With my head out the window
Split-end hair hangin’
So they look up and say
“She’s one crazy lady”
But more than all of that
I just want you back
And I’ve been waiting and waiting
For you to maybe show up
So in the meantime
I’ll hide your betrayal
Inside the music box
I wish people wouldn’t twist their face
As they say it’ll be okay
But everyone seems to know
You were half of my soul
And whatever control I had known
Turned me into a tortured soul
I wanna rip up my face
Rip my heart apart
And make you wipe the blood away
Just to hear you say “I loved you everyday”
I wanna scream my lungs out
With my head out the window
So everyone watching can look up and say
“That really messed her up”
And I’ve been waiting and waiting
For you to maybe show up
So in the meantime
I’ll hide your betrayal
Inside the music box, Inside the music box
And it’s embarrassing
How messed up I am from this
You seem barely okay
But I can’t really tell over my
Depressive insanity
They told me to take time off
So I’m in my dark dark mansion
Clawin’ at the windows
It won’t end no, It won’t end no
Tonight I’ll open the chest
At the foot of my lonely bed
And cry over a gown-like wedding dress
Before I collapse into sleepless distress
This song is wordy right off the bat, but to make it so wordy means to create a bit of insanity. The woman going through this life altering heartbreak is definitely a tortured poet - as most poets are.
So with that being said, I had randomly come up with the title “Inside the Music Box” a while before writing the song, but liked the irony of using that title for a rather messed up bunch of words and emotion.
The Irony
“So in the meantime, I’ll hide your betrayal inside the music box”
When we think of a music box, we think of beautiful - sometimes a bit haunting - melodies while a ballerina or bride spins around with her groom. There’s intricate carvings on the outside of the wood box that you can hold in the palm of your hand.
But for this “crazy lady”, her music box locks and hides away the beautiful, haunting melody of her season of love. This season could’ve been a week for all we know, but it left an eternal mark. One that she can’t seem to face with sanity, so she locks it up in something that should be reserved for the joy of opening a peaceful melody.
Nobody wants to open this music box.
The Premise
The chorus does a good job of encompassing what this woman is feeling and experiencing. And before I even began to write the lyrics, I wanted to capture the idea of depressive insanity.
What I mean by that is how someone can be so heartbroken over loss or life’s cards that they become a bit insane. Or, someone could be so obsessed about a particular event or experience in their life that it burns them out, and all they have left is depression.
I believe this woman was depressed, and she decided to say “What the hell?” and let her insanity take over. After all, she believes there’s nothing left to lose after her heartbreak….How tragic.
But even so, it was incredibly fun to experiment with this song and turn such feelings and words into something beautiful. Though the narrator takes this song heavily, I take and reflect on it very lightly. If anything, it would be funny if I saw someone smoking and screaming out her window over a lost lover.
Yes, she’s overreacting. But isn’t it true that we so easily let our emotions get the better of us, and sometimes lead our lives?
I think we all have secrets and memories we’d rather leave locked away in the music box, but we don’t have to keep it that way.
Thanks for listening and sharing!
Inside the Music Box